The Tekken Race
by Arevroc
Summary: Okay I updated chap 2 still working on the others trust me you should read it again! Chapter 5 will be up soon! Watch as the Tekken characters compete against each other for guts and glory!Review again! PLEASE!
1. The Race

**Tekken Race**

Introduction:

Pls. Review and no copying

Biography

Jin Kazama – a wealthy man, very cunning and smart. Heir to the Mishima Zaibatsu. The son of Kazuya and Jun. Likes to party all night long

Steve Fox – a world class boxer, Smart and very cocky. The only son of Nina Williams and Paul Phoenix.

Hoawarang – A master in taekwondo. A skilled mechanic in vehicles and likes to carry his wrench.(The size of the wrench is the red wrench and longest you see in a hardware store.) and whack people with it. Likes to kick Kazuya's ass. Trained in the military as a former pilot and soldier.

Kazuya Mishima – a man of many talents nooo! What am I saying; he's an asshole, a drug addict and an inconsiderate father. A good for nothing piece of shit? He does like to shove fruits where they shouldn't belong.

Heihachi Mishima – a horny pervertive sick bastard with no sense of humor! He hides a deep dark secret in his bed while he sleeps.

Paul Phoenix: a man with dreams. Desires a restaurant for bikers in the Texan state.

A very skilled fighter in street fighting and likes to play with his hair a lot.

Jun Kazama: The very faithful wife of Kazuya likes to pamper her son Jin. A very protective mother who can be very dangerous when a threat comes about.

Nina Williams: The wife of Paul a world class assassin yet she may be coldhearted. She has a big heart for her son Steve.

Lei Wulong: A badass pervertive cop, always thinking of ways to screw with Kazuya and Paul and also trying to score with their wives.

Julia Chang: A hot environmentalist who likes lot's of green. Has power to make things live.

Ling Xiayou: A cool Chinese school girl who is addicted to Jin and coffee and sweets. She likes to play with her pet panda.

Lee Chaolon: A freakin faggot, very gay. Warnings if seen do not approach unless you're a homosexual.

Chapter 1: The RACE

(At the Mishima's mansion, Kazuya burning his eyes out in front of the computer screen.)

Kazuya: They have pink cocaine in E bay. But nothing can beat the original white powder. Ohhhhhhhh! They're now selling tropical mushrooms. (Giggles) Wait, what's this they're selling a genuine World War II smoking pipe. (Kazuya's eyes turning around and around) Neeeeeed toooo haavvveee thiiiis piiippee.

(Suddenly Jin, Steve and Hoawarang came in Kazuya's room)

Jin: Hey Dad look wha…. The

Hoawarang: …the HELL are you doing!

(Jin, Steve and Hoawarang see Kazuya licking his computer)

Kazuya: Dammit! How many times do I have to tell not to disturb me in my private time you idiots.

Jin: But Dad we won something.

Kazuya: Nah that is just a piece of crap!

Jin: No it's not.

Kazuya: Jin, I am your father!. (Kazuya walks to his chair and sits.)

Jin: NNNNNNNOOONNOOOOOOOOOOO! No seriously are you?

Hoawarang: It's not crap. You sick bastard.

Kazuya: (Picks up a banana and waves it around.) Don't make me shove this banana where the sun doesn't shine.

Hoawarang: (screams like a little girl) Okay, Jin, your old man is right its just bunch of crap.

Jin: Hey! Whose side are you on?

Steve: He's in the side where Mrs. Banana doesn't meet Mr. ASS.

Hoawarang: (Angry) Are you picking a fight with me beeotch?

Steve: Hell yeah CHICKEN SHIT!

Hoawarang: That's it the gloves are off!

Steve: Ready when you are pussy.

(Hoawarang gets ready to fight Steve. Suddenly Steve throws a strong hook at Hoawarang that sends him flying to the bathroom. Hoawarang rises and charges at Steve and kicks him in the gut. Hoawarang then executes a powerful cannonball kick at Steve chin that sends him flying out of the room and into the roof of the mansion where the dojo of the Mishima's is located. Hoawarang jumps up after him.)

(On the Dojo)

Hoawarang: Let's finish this Steve.

Steve: Sure

(Steve quickly grabs a spear and charges at Hoawarang. Hoawarang brings out his Wrench and charges at Steve. As they met Hoawarang turns and parries Steve's Attack. The Wrench got hook just below the blade of the spear, Hoawarang breaks it in half and hits Steve with the wrench squarely on the face then launches Steve in the air with a powerful kick then jumps up Ninja STYLE hits Steve with the wrench that sends him flying out of the dojo and lands in the garden)

Meanwhile

(Lee is cutting the grass)

Lee: This sucks, I should be watching the fab 5. (Stands up in a girly manner) but no I have to do that asshole stepfather's dumb chores. What's even worse he doesn't pay me a damn cent. Oh I wish a man would just fall in front of me.

(Steve falls in front of Lee)

Lee: (Raises his hands up.) Thank you, Author.

(Lee brings Steve back in the house)

Hoawarang: (Comes back in the room finds Jin on the floor.) My God!

(Kazuya circles Hoawarang and shoves a fruit on Hoawarang's but. Hoawarang falls to the ground unconscious)

Meanwhile

(In the basement)

(Steve wakes up)

Steve: (Looks around) Where am I? (Sees Lee about to lick him) OMFG!

(In the front door Ling and Julia)

Ling: (pushes the doorbell while singing a poem about Jin) Oh Jin oh Jin ohohohoho. You're LingYLin is waiting.

Julia: What the hell is taking so long Kazuya's smug face should be in front of our faces right about now!

Ling: Shush Julia I'm just here for 2 things. Coffee and my one love Jin.

Julia: (Not listening to Ling. Touches the door) It's open, Ling, c'mon lets go

(Back in the basement)

Steve: Get away from me!

(Steve punches Lee on the face and sends him flying to a power conduit box. Electrocuting Lee makin the house go loco)

Kazuya: Now (Gets near the computer as he was about to press the buy button the Computer turned off) What the hell! Noooooooooo my ppipppeee! (Pissed off, Kazuya punches the computer with his strongest punch breaking it in half.) There!

(The strength of the punch caused a shockwave which makes Lee fall off the electric box. Then the lights turned on)

Kazuya: Thank you! (Looks at his computer) Noooooooooooo! (Kazuya rips of the wires and electrocutes himself, knocking him out.)

(After 3 hours)

Kazuya: (wakes up) Uhhhh

Hoawarang: Ouch my but! Like something was shoved into it. (Touches his but)

Jin: Ouch my belly like something kicked it like a wild man (clutches his stomach)

Jun: (comes in the living room) Okay wake up were gonna have a Tekken family meeting.

Ling: (In the kitchen making coffee while adding lots of cream and sugar)

Kazuya: (stands up) Even my faggy brother.

Jun: Yeah you got a problem with that.

Kazuya: No maam

(An hour later)

(The doorbell rings, outside Paul and Nina were waiting.)

Jun: (opens the door) Hey guys! Come in (Jun pushing Nina and Paul in)

(Jun turns around and screams as she sees Lei.)

Lei: Let me in sugar! (Poking Jun's breast with his silenced pistol)

Kazuya: (Comes out grabs Lei and throws him in the living room) Stay away from my wife you bastard.

(Living room)

Jun: Now let's talk

Kazuya: (Smoking marijuana. Sees Lei reaching for his pocket and brings out a bag of pot and a pipe)

Lei: Like my pipe Kazuya, I just got it from EBay apparently one person was betting but he disappeared. I took the liberty of buying it (laughs at Kazuya)

(Kazuya getting pissed attacks Lei with a Sofa chair)

Kazuya: That's my pipe you bastard! AhhhhhhH! (charges at Lei but was stop by Jun)

Jun: Now stop it honey. (waving her finger around)

Kazuya: Fine. (throws the sofa chair back and sits down)

Jun: I called you all out here because my son Jin won a wonderful thing.

Kazuya: No it's just a piece of crap.

Jun: Shut upppp! (picks up a fish and hits Kazuya on the head)

Kazuya: Ahuh! My dinner

Jun: Continue, Jin.

Jin: I won tickets for the Tekken Race!

Paul: Do we get paid?

Jin: I think so!

Paul: I'm in

Kazuya: I'm out

Jun: (Picks up a piece of ham and hammers Kazuya's Head)

Kazuya: Oww! My Breakfast

Jun: It's decided were going in the race!

(Suddenly Heihachi pops out of the sofa.)

Heihachi: I disagree, I don't want to go to a trip where a gay, freaks and pansies in a damn race around the world!

Ling: (Comes out of the kitchen bringing a coffee cart and stops in front of Kazuya.) But we need to go. Were gonna have lots of fun and best of all I'm gonna have a date with my Jinnyyy. (Gets near Jin and sips on her coffee machine) Isn't that right my boyfriend? (Jin sweats and squirms away from Ling.) Besides all you folks need a vacation, right?

Jin: (Moves silently to Hoawarang) Help Me please! I don't want to go to a date of crazy Chinese girl chugging a coffee machine for a drink.

Heihachi: No is no dammit! (Grabs Ling's Coffee machine and throws it outside) Now get out of my damn house!

Ling: BUBUB but? (Ling about to burst in tears)

Heihachi: Is it that hard to understand what's coming from my mouth or do you need a damn gorilla to tell you! (Starts acting like Ling in an idiotic manner)

Ling: I hate you! (Ling burst into tears while running out of the room and into the kitchen. Julia and Hoawarang follow her into the kitchen)

Lee: (Thinks deeply and then he stands up.) You can't do that! I can never accept you as my father! Jin, accompany me! (Lee burst into tears and runs to his room in a freakishly girly manner)

Hoawarang: Wow! Heihachi pissed of Lee and Ling faster than us! This calls for a celebration.

Jin: I'm gonna get the champagne. (Goes to the bar room)

Jun: No one's gonna accompany Lee? (Stares at everyone) Forget I ask?

Heihachi: Yeah! I'm gonna wash my hands now.(Heihachi places his hands in a pool of super glue thinking it was water)

(Suddenly the kitchen doors open wide. Everyone sees Ling carrying a rod that is attached to a teddy bear dangling inches away from a boiling pot of hot espresso)

Ling: (Hysterical look) Okay! You sick bastard we're going to the race or the bear gets it.

Heihachi: Okay we're going to the race just don't hurt my Mr. Cuddles.

Ling: (Calms down) Okay!

Heihachi: Hu thank you.

(Jin comes out holding the champagne bottle)

Jin: (Singing in a happy tune.) It's celebration time al'ight.

(Jin pops the bottle. The cork flies to Heihachi's forehead)

Heihachi: Uhhhh! (Clutches his face with his hands but they stuck together.) Ahhhhhh! Crap! Whut dya helll ish shtuk on my faceee. (Gets closer to the window.)

Kazuya: Watch out dad! (Kazuya stands but trips on the coffee cart Ling brought. The cart smashes into Heihachi's groin. Propelling him to the window)

Heihachi: (While falling of the window) Damn you Kazuyaaaaaa!

Kazuya: (Gets up casually and dust of his tie.) We will not speak of this.

Hoawarang: Let's party (brings out a keg of beer)

(As the Tekken crew parties they prepare for their biggest adventure)


	2. American Dream

**This story I'd like to acknowledge the other author my brother!**

**Well here's the 2****nd**** chapter REVIEW! Pls.**

**Arevroc**

**A'ight!!!**

**Tekken race**

**Chapter 2: The American dream**

**After they partied all night long the Tekken crew met in the Tokyo airport, where they will go to their unknown destination.**

**At the entrance of the airport.**

Jin: Yeah were going to the race!

Kazuya: Shut up!

Jun: Let's go boys; I already see Nina and Paul. (Waves at them)

**Hwoarang comes out of the car.**

Jin: (Gets near Hoawarang.) Come on, we still have to meet with the crew.

Kazuya: Where the hell do you smoke pot here?

Paul: You idiot! Don't you know what will happen if we smoke pot in an airport. (Hits Kazuya in the head.)

Kazuya: Ah crap!! What good is an airport if you can't even smoke!

**Meanwhile**

Steve: (Runs to the group) Hey guys! Guess what I did?

Jin: What, you stole an old granny's sweater.

Hwoarang: (Giggles) or maybe you got extra change from a store and kept It., ohohoh Steve's been a bad boy!

Jin: (Does a hi 5 with Hoawarang)

Steve: Shut up! Besides those were considered crimes. (Smiles)

Jin: What did you do?

Steve: This time I received extra change from that old cashier and then I stole her sweater. See it's not 1 crime but 2 crimes at once, no one can beat that.

Hwoarang: You are a dumbass!

**After a while and a couple of daydreams the crews are now passing through final inspection.**

Kazuya: (Passing through the security system) Come on we're going to miss our flight!

**Suddenly the security alarm turns on and guards charge at Kazuya,**

Kazuya: Yeah, go get that terrorist, Hey what the he,,--,,.-

**The guards tackle Kazuya and starts beating him with their batons.**

Kazuya: (Screams) RRRRRRRRRRRRRaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppeeeeeeeee!

Lei: (Grabs the guards and pulls them off Kazuya) I'm the prestigious Hong Kong cop Lei Wu Long. I've been trying to capture this criminal in the act of doing a crime for so long.

**At the Interrogation room where Kazuya is being questioned by Lei.**

Lei: So the great criminal Kazuya Mishima has been caught. I'll be famous in the police department! (Feels excited)

Kazuya: I thought you were FIRED!!!

(Lei Flashback)

Chief: I have to let you go Lei.

Lei: For WHAT?

Chief: For killing officer jingles.

Lei: The cat.

Chief: He wasn't just any alley cat. He was a police officer, and you killed him. He was going to be father. (Cries)

How could you?

Lei: That cat was trying to hang himself. I had nothing to do with it.

Chief: Really now?

Lei: Of course. I was trying to get him untangled until you came in!

Chief: Cats can't commit suicide.

Lei: He was playing with a ball of yarn.

Chief: So it wasn't a suicide after all.

Lei: Stop labeling me as a cat killer.

Chief: Not a cat killer. A COP KILLER.

Lei: Well………………..uhh….He was gay?

Chief: Give me everything you have in your pocket.

Lei: But before that, let me tell you a speech. I will never stop until I find the real killer. I will avenge Officer Jingles.

I will find justice for the oppressed.

Chief: You should not even bother. Justice has already been served.

Lei: Ok (Lei hands over his handcuffs, gun, tic tacs, police badge) Oh yeah. I almost forgot this. (Hands over a ball of yarn.)

**Lei stood up and walk towards the door but before he left turns around.**

Lei: I hope you're happy. (Slams the door again and again)

Chief: Are you done?

(End of Flashback)

Lei: But now I have caught you and the Hong Kong police department will be begging me back.

Kazuya: You're not even in Hong Kong, you're in Tokyo you dumbass.

Lei: Insults huh! (Snaps) Guard!!

Kazuya: Guard?!

**A guard comes out carrying a baton.**

Kazuya: Hey we don't need violence, Where is da love! Oh shit hip talk! AHH!

**Guard hits Kazuya on the face.**

Kazuya: (rubbing his cheeks) But I haven't done anything yet!

Lei: I've been tracking you down for so long now!

Kazuya: But you were with me yesterday!?

Lei: This is the first time I saw you for a long time.

Kazuya: But you have known me for lot of years now!

Lei: You tried to destroy my life!

Kazuya: You don't even have a life; you're a worthless bag of shit!

Lei: You know what you did?

Kazuya: No?

Lei: We found some incriminating evidences to put you in jail for a long time. (Smiles in front of Kazuya's face)

Kazuya: (Thoughts: Oh man did they find my drugs in the bag, my shirt, my shoes, even in my BRIEF. Oh crap this is bad.)

Lei: This is what we found…… (Lei reached in the bag pulling something out.)

Kazuya: (Thoughts: This is it, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OOOOHHHH crap I crapped my pants.)

Lei: We found a dime.

Kazuya: A dime! What the hell!!!!!!!

Lei: You see you can only carry a maximum of $300 in the airport. But you exceeded the limit by one dime.

Kazuya: It's only one dime!!!

Lei: (Stands up.) But wait there's more, Kazuya. Stand up, turn around and bend down.

Kazuya: I didn't know you we're GAY. That explains everything. So that's why you're always….

Lei: ALWAYS WHAT!!!!

Kazuya: Nothing.

Lei: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Just do it.

(Kazuya stands up, turns around and bends down.) (Does he know where I hid my pot?)

Lei: Hmmmm (holding his chin) Here we go. (Lei's hand slowly getting near Kazuya's ass.) Yahh!!!! (Reaches in Kazuya's back pocket)

Kazuya: What the????

Lei: You have another dime in your pocket that merits you 2 days in the box! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Kazuya: (Stands up.) Are you done already? (Thoughts: Good thing he didn't reach deeper

Or he would find the drugs up my ass)

Lei: Ok you're good to go. Wait, I sense another one

Kazuya: (Thoughts: Ohh crap all this stress makes me do something regrettable)

Lei: (Reaches for Kazuya's ear and magically makes a dime appear on his hand) Yah another coin!!!!

(In the other side of the double sided window)

Cop 1: What do you think?

Cop 2: He's good!

(Back in the room)

Kazuya: Ok magician, now are you done.

Lei: Yeah we're just….. (Sniffs the air) OH CRAP! Did you fart? (Covers his nose with a handkerchief)

Kazuya: (Blushing) Sorry!

Lei: Oh it's okay, go on now. (Spanks Kazuya's ass and touches the drugs.) EWWWWWWW couldn't you wait before we're done.

(Kazuya runs to the door sweating hard)

Lei: Wait!

Kazuya: Crap…..

Lei: Here! (Throws a tissue roll at Kazuya) Go straight and turn left there you can wipe your ass. WOW!!! It stinks in here!

**Kazuya runs back to their gate. The Tekken crew got in their flight ready for the race.**

**While in the plane.**

Paul: Hey psssstttt attendant, give me more wine!!! Huk (dizzy)

Nina: You shouldn't be drinking honey.

Hwoarang: (Eating) Hey this 1st class isn't so bad!!

Jin: Wait till you play the games here.

Steve: I found the PS2 guys!

Hwoarang: Cool let's play Tekken!!

**A few min. later**

Jin: Yeah I kicked your ass. (Taunts Hwoarang)

Hwoarang: No fair besides I was using a sucky character.

Steve: Hey mom I have to walk to the bathroom!

Nina: Why do you tell me something I don't really care about?

Steve goes in the bathroom and locks it and then a chair was jammed into it

Steve: (relieving himself) AAAAAHHHAHHHHHHHH!

Lee: (Sneaks up on Steve) Operation: Final Destination

Steve: (Looks behind him) Ohhh CRAP

Lee: You think it was over yesterday Steve but that was just the beginning.

Steve: AHHHHH!!!

Steve starts running to the door and tries to open it but it was jammed!

Lee: Yes struggle my prey!!

(Steve screams as they were about to land)

Nina: Steve where are you?!

Steve: (Calls out of the bathroom) I' m here!

**In the bathroom Lee's head is stuck in the toilet and Steve is kicking his guts and flushing the toilet.**

**At the bridge of the airport**

Paul: Where are we?

Julia: We're in LA

Ling: Coffee, where's the coffee! (Jumping hard)

Julia: (Looks at Jin) Ohhhh where do we go next, Jin?

Jin: There's a bar near here there we will meet our contact.

Paul: Alright mor beer!

Paul starts flailing about and slams his face onto Kazuya crotch

Jun: I didn't know you guys were gay!

Kazuya: What … I'm… Paul!!!

Paul: Wow this pillow is so small! HHAHAHAH!!

**Kazuya crumples his fist and punches Paul in the face! **

**The Tekken crew head for the nearby bar**

Nina: You're soaking wet Lee!

Lee: (Walks in the bar) Ouchhh!!!

Kazuya: So where's our contact!

(Suddenly the bartender turned around)

Guy: Hi! Name is Robin and I'm your contact.

Lee: Yeah yeah where do you get clothes here? (Touching his soaked clothes)

Robin: No way!!!! It's my sistah Lee.

Lee: I'm flattered!!! (Touches each others hands in a gay way)

Robin: I got the clothes for you, come here. (Grabs Lee and brings him to the store room)

(Minutes later)

Robin: (Comes out of the storeroom) TADA!

**Lee comes wearing a pink headband with a pink shirt with a pink vest and pink belt matching with pink pants and pink sneakers and pink socks that says "PINKY"**

Lee: Alright!!

Robin: You totally look fantastic... (Jumps up and down)

Kazuya: You look fagtastic!

Hwoarang: You look like a gay drag queen!

Jin: You look like a whore…a gay whore!

Steve: You look B...E.A.utiful!

Jin: Steve is a fag!

**Paul wakes up from his drunken state and runs to Steve with a knife.**

**Paul: (Holds up the knife to Steve's throat) Son you must choose men wieners or hot girls!**

**Steve: If I choose men?**

**Paul: Then you're gay and I castrate you! WHY! ARE YOU GAY!! HUHUHUH! (Sticks the knife to Steve's crotch)**

**Steve: Hot girls!!!!**

**Paul: Good! (Puts the knife back in his pocket)**

Kazuya: Okay Robin dude stop dreaming and go back to reality!!

Ling: How does the race work?

Robin; It's not as easy as you think you have to go to 5 continents. Each continent consists of 5 challenges. These challenges are not easy to achieve and not only that you will be working in teams.

Heiachi: Stop with the crap and how much is the prize money.

Robin: $100,000,000…cash. Now if I may continue each team would consist of 3 -4 members. The members will be chosen by a super intelligent computer randomly. (Pulls a curtain and shows the Tekken gang a huge computer.)

Computer: I'm a Technological Intelligent Technology Supreme or you can just call me T.I.T.S.

**Tekken Gang stays quiet for a while then laughs out loud.**

Tekken Gang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Lei: Got M.I.L.K.!!!

**It takes half an hour for the Tekken gang to stop laughing.**

Computer: Are you done yet?

Steve: Yeah were done T.I.T…hahahah!HHHAH!!

**It takes another hour for them to quiet down.**

Computer: C….A…L…C…U…L…A…T…I…N…G… Team 1 is made up of Hwoarang, Jin, and Steve.

Jin, Hwoarang, and Steve: Brothers Forever!!!

Lee: Oh please… you're just a bunch of FAGS!!

Hwoarang: Look who's talking.

Computer: C ….A…L…C…U…L…A…T…I…N…G… Team 2 is Jun, Nina and………

Jun: (Prays) Not Lei please not Lei.

Computer: and Lei!!

Lei: (Raises his fist) BOOHYAH!

Nina: You pervert!! (Grabs Lei and chokes him to death)

Jun: All is LOST, LOST I tell YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Joins in choking Lei)

Computer: C….A…L…C…U…L…A…T…I…N…G… Team 3 Ling, Julia and Lee you're the Angels!

Jin: More like 2 Angels and an inverted dick!

Computer: and the rest is Team 4! Well those are your teammates.

Nina: How can this be random you chose a pervert to be our teammate! (Points a handgun at the computer)

Computer: (circuits shaking) I'm sorry but that's the result!

Nina: Fine! Then I'll have to shoot someone else! (Points the gun at Lee)

Lee: (Covers his body) I have a son and wife!

Nina: No you don't and besides I don't shoot fags like you! (Points the gun at Kazuya)

Kazuya: (Sweating) No! I have wife and a kid shoot them! (Points at Jun and Jin)

Nina: Nah! (Points at Heiachi)

Heiachi: I'm very old.

Nina: You're right (Points at Hwoarang and Julia.)

Steve: Mom their love birds.

Nina: (Points at Ling)

Tekken Gang: She's RETARDED!!!!

Nina: (Points the gun at Lei)

Lei: (dancing) big jugs, cool jugs, and hot jugs! Heehaw!

Nina: Bastard! (Shoots Lei on the leg)

Lei: Crap you beeotch! Ohhhh!!!

Julia: Where do we go then?

Robin: You are task to meet the referee in North America he is in the parking lot behind the bar! There you will get to know your first challenge!

**At the Parking Lot**

Nina: Where's the ref!

Paul: I don't know?

Kazuya opens the door. The Tekken crew enters the warehouse with a big box in the middle.

Steve: Where's the ref Robin?

Robin: I think he's in the box? Let me open it. (Opens the box)

(The box exploded and a gigantic shadowy figure wearing a re soccer shirt and track shoes stood up)

Robin: Your ref……….

(The figure turned around)

Robin: KUUUUUMMMMMAAAAA!!!

(Kuma smiles and bear hugs Steve)

Kuma: Roaaarrrarr!

Tekken crew: KKKKUUUUUUMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA??????????!?!?!?!?

(As the Crew takes their 1st step in this adventure they also meet their 1st referee, Kuma!)

END

You might have found it weird but I'm telling you now that the Whole Tekken gang understands Kuma

Pls. review

Arevroc


	3. Hospital Carnage, muhahahaah!

**The Tekken Race**

**Well here's chap 3!**

**Review**

**Chapter 3: Hospital Carnage, muhahahaah!**

We join the Tekken Crew in the Mishima car industry where they met their referee, Kuma!

(Kuma is bear hugging Steve)

Steve: Oww! Kuma let me go! (Hits Kuma lightly on the head)

Kuma: (Lets him go) Roaaarrrarr!

(Kuma reaches in the box and pulls out a leash and wears it)

Kuma: Now I can talk English to you people.

Lee: So what do we do first!

Kuma: So this is your 1st challeng… (Kuma looks at Paul) What the hell are you doing!

(Paul is chewing on Kuma's foot)

Paul: (While munching) SHEWING yur foot off!

Kuma: (Kicks Paul foot and kicks him again into a car.) You're going to race in the streets of L.A. with street cars which you will build, upgrade with your own money and capabilities!

(Kuma opens 4 garages with tools)

Jin: What are the rules to this challenge?

Kuma: Rules? What rules? There are no rules! (Evil laugh # 36) HAYYHAYHYAYAHYYYYAHYY!

Kazuya: (In a car with Paul and Heihachi.) See you suckers!

(The car sped off)

Kuma: Oh yeah I forgot to tell you the race starts tomorrow!

Lei: Wow they are idiots!

(While in the car)

Heihachi: (Attaching his seatbelt) Buckle up you morons!

Kazuya: No!

Heihachi: Buckle up or gonna break your hip like your mama!

Kazuya: (Buckles up) Damn him I'll kill him for sure you just wait you bastard Paul you too!

Paul: Hell no! I'm a devil in the wheel! Heeeeeeeeeeeee.

Heihachi: Where you seatbelt dumbass! (Throws his Mr. Cuddles in the drivers' seat where it got stuck under the brake pad)

Paul: Fine! (Pushes the brakes) Hey where not slowing down!

Kazuya: You idiot! I'll show you how to press the brakes! (Steps on a pad)

Paul: You moron your pressing the acceleration! CCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

(The car sped and hit a low wall sending Paul out of his seat and flying to a rig)

Paul: (In the middle of the intersection) Ohhh! Kazuya! (Blacks out)

(The Crew heads for the hospital)

Kazuya: (Goes to Nina) I'm sorry Nina… but your husband is an idiot.

Nina: I know.

Jin: (Yanking Jun's arm) Mom, can me and the guys get coffee?

Jun: Sure.

Ling: Don't forget to get me a cup!

Julia: Me too!

Lei: I'm goanna get Paul some wine! (Leaves the room)

Meanwhile

(In an operating room, No not Paul but Heihachi's …)

Heihachi: Mr. Cuddles! (Taps the Doctor on the back) Is he going to be alright, doctor?

Doctor: The only operation we can do is "TRANS" stuffing, but due to the accident our stock of stuffing is in heavy traffic. (Raises his fist) I'll make sure to find out the heartless man who caused this accident. What accident did you say he was in again?

Heihachi: Uhm… He... wasss… blown…. up by a…a rocket ship! Yeah that's it!

Doctor: Right? The only way is to find a donor in this hospital.

Heihachi: Ok doc I'm gonna find you a donor, wait for me Mr. Cuddles. (Leaves the room)

Doctor: (Whispers to his nurse) Man he's weird!

Nurse: You got that right!

Meanwhile

(In Paul's operating room)

Paul: (Opening his eyes) Uhh...Where... am I?

(Outside of the room the crew is standing out of the operating room where they see Paul in a window)

Jin: Man where's the doctor? (Sips his coffee)

Steve: (Sips his coffee) Yeah I wonder what happened?

Hwoarang: (Sips ALSO his coffee) Man, Ling is the dumbest person here isn't she? Just look at her. (Points at Ling)

Ling: (Hitting the coffee machine) Give me my coffee you stupie Coffee machine! I gave you money, my hard earned play money! (Punches the coffee machine)

Kazuya: Hurry up man! (Walks up to doctor and ushers him in the room)

(The doctor locks the door)

Jun: Do you think he's really a doctor?

Nina: Let him just help my husband!

(In the operating room)

(The doctor is playing with the CPR thingy by putting it near his ears)

(A/N: Don't' know the name but it is used when the patient is failing. It is the one that looks like 2 paddles)

Paul: Doc?

Doc: Yes.

Paul; What are you doing?

Doc: Ohh! (Drops the CPR Thingy.) Sorry we will have to continue with the operation.

Paul: What operation! (Sits up on the bed) All I need is ointment that's what the nurse said!

Doc: Operation: Evil doctor!

Paul; Wha… (The doctor stabs Paul with an anesthesia needle)

Ling: (Comes with a popcorn bag.) Hey doesn't Lee own those shoes. (Points at shoes of the doctor)

Julia: What? (Looks at the shoes and sees a sock just above it that says "PINKY") Oh my God it's Lee!

(In the room)

Lee: (Removes his costume.) You're mine Paul!

Lee: (Pushes Paul of the Bed)

Paul: (Wakes up.) What the hell?

Lee: (Grabs the CPR thingy) Weee! Full Power! (Adjust the knob and attacks Paul with it)

(Jin spits his coffee on the glass window; Steve spits his Coffee back in his cup.)

Hwoarang: Huh? (Turns his head spat his HOT coffee on Kazuya's face!)

Kazuya: Ohhh! Crap! (Clutches his face in pain) Help me! (Moves to Julia and grabs on her hands)

Julia: Get away from me!

(Julia throws her hot coffee on Kazuya's eyes, Kazuya screams in pain.)

Kazuya: Ah! Son of a Bitch! (Falls back to the couch where Nina was about to pour her coffee)

Nina: What the hell! (Accidentally pours her coffee pot on Kazuya's balls)

Kazuya: Son of!#$#$$#

Nina: (Looks at Kazuya) Whoa! (Drops the pot on Kazuya's crotch)

Kazuya: (Stands up quickly) Ahhh! Hot, Hot!

Meanwhile

(A child is walking by with his teddy bear)

Child: So Mr. Bear after that operation, what do you wanna do?

(Suddenly Heihachi appears and grabs the bear)

Heihachi: I'm sorry but my bear needs more than you! (Bites the bear on the neck and rips it open while taking the stuffing out) Yes! I got the goods! (Throws the bear to the kid)

Child: (Picks up the bear) Mr. Bear (Looks at Heihachi) He just came through X-Ray room you old fart!

(Heihachi ignores him and runs away)

Arevroc: I know kinda harsh.

Meanwhile

(Lee comes out of the room sweating)

Lee: (Wiping his sweat.) Man he's on FIRE!

Nina: What! (Pushes Lee and takes a peak!)

(Paul was in an inferno)

Ling: (Shoves Nina) Oh my god, I gotta put the flames out! (Stares at the popcorn bag) Alright then popcorn I choose you! (Throws the bag in the fire)

(The kernels flew in an intense speed)

Kazuya: (Getting up) uhh my babies.

(Kazuya gets hit on the balls by a kernel)

Kazuya: (fall to the floor) Oh god I think it hit my left nut! Oh CRAPPPP!

(Lei runs from the hall)

Lei: Hey I got the wine for Pa...Ahuh! (Gets hit by one of the kernels in the head and drops the wine on Ling's hands.)

Ling: (Stares at the bottle) Yah! (Throws the bottle on the fire)

(The fire became an explosion)

Ling: Still not dead are ye? Then I'm goanna have to sacrifice! (Grabs Lei and throws him in the fire)

(Note: Lei always has bullets around his waist)

Lei: YoU iDiOt!

(Lei is quickly engulfed in the flames and bullets started coming out from the fire)

Kazuya: (Running away) Man this day sucks!

(A bullet flies to Kazuya's leg and fell down)

Kazuya: Ohh my leg!

(Suddenly a bullet ricocheted of the room and to the hallway.)

Kazuya: Oh CRAP? (The bullet hits Kazuya's arm) Oh son of gun!

(Paul wakes up in a bright room)

Paul: (Covers his eyes with his hand.) Ah damn light Kazuya turn that off!

: Kazuya? Paul you've been eating too much beef jerky.

Paul: Then who are you?

: I am the AUTHOR!

Paul: Noo you're not! I doubt you can even scratch me! (Taunts the Author)

Author: Fine!

(The Author snaps his finger and an invisible force scratches Paul on the butt.)

Paul; Ohh! Okay you are the author. Can I ask you why I'm here?

Author: Simple you're dead!

Paul: What!

Author: Yeah and that my fan reviews are stuck in traffic because of you!

Paul: Sorry.

Author: Ah it's okay, wanna do something.

(Back in the real world and in the hospital.)

Ling: (Running with a methane tank) Now you're gonna die!

(Ling slips on a coffee pot, hits her head and pinned by the tank.)

Ling: I'm okay! Get this off me!

(Ling chops the tip of the tank causing a gas leak.)

(Julia approaches Ling)

Ling: Please Julia help me.

Julia: (Picks up a coffee cup) I'm sorry Ling! (Hits Ling knocking her out) Yeah that felt very good!

(Hwoarang carries Ling to the sofa)

Hwoarang: You stupid girl.

(Ling suddenly wakes up.)

Hwoarang: Ahhh! CRAP!

(Ling takes a glasses of the floor and wears it)

Lin: Hello Hwoarang, Methane is a very flammable gas and so is wine this would cause a catastrophic explosion especially if it is thrown in a fire!

Jin: What the hell! She's talking like a nerd!

Julia: I'm guessing we changed her brain wave.

Steve: Crap, Do you know what's Wang is gonna do to us when he finds out that this happened.

Hwoarang: Yeah he's gonna pay us millions!

Steve: Precisely!

(At the heavens)

Author: Well Paul it's time for you to leave.

Paul: Ready!

Author: Don't forget to be good and don't be stupid!

(Paul's soul sinks back into his body)

Paul: Hey, I'm back wait a minute it smells like barbecue! (Looks at Lei's toasted body.) Hey so that's where my lighter has been.

(Paul reaches in Lei's pocket for the lighter and gets out of the room!)

Paul: Hey guys!

(The crew stares at Paul and runs towards him)

Nina: Paul! You asshole! (Punches Paul's arm playfully)

Paul: Well let's start the race!

(Opens up his lighter tries to light a cigarette)

Lee: (Notices the gas leak) Paul!

(Lee Runs towards Paul)

Paul: Huh? What!

Lee: Use my lighter! (Flicks open his lighter)

**BOOM!#$ &()+)(&$#! **

(Well our adventures had a little explosion in their lives!)

Well that was chap3

Review!


	4. Revenge with the taste of steel

**The Tekken Race**

Well people here's chap 4

Hope you like it!

Sorry for the delay! Damn that Bio test! And that damn 5 day blackout in my country Dammit! My report card sucks! Well we tried to make this as long as possible like what I'm telling you right now! See I'm just making it longer for you hahaha! Before you read this review! Please!

Review

**Arevroc**

Chapter 4: Revenge with the taste of steel

(Back at the lodging house near the Mishima car industries)

Paul: (holding his head) Crapp!

Kuma: Is that the only thing you can say after blowing up the whole WEST WING of a Children's hospital! (Points at Paul)

Lee: But it's not his fault…

Paul: Damn right it isn't!

Hiehachi: Well yes it is if you weren't driving so fast we wouldn't be in a hospital and Mr. Cuddles wouldn't be in an operating room.

Paul: Why the hell are you blaming me for all I know Kazuya was stepping on the acceleration like a dumbass!

Kazuya: Well sorry for having a cheap fart for a father who didn't give me driving lessons. Also for having a very bad childhood and have a faggy brother who doesn't stop being a fag even on my birthday and for having a crappy friend who sets me up with a girl named Jun and later has a son and having them crappy friends of his urge him to enter a contest and win freakin tickets in stupid race around the world to win $1,000,000 and have a pervertive cop busting my ass for every crappy law I break! So you can't blame me! You people have been hauling my ass for an eternity now! That shit ends now! It isn't working any more! (Grabs champagne bottle and throws it on the wall) Blame all the freaks all around me! (Pants) Hah! In your face PAUL! (Points at Paul)

Jun: Hey, hey you can't blame me for having a son!

Paul: Hey I'm not crappy!

Hwoarang; Hey you can't call me a piece of crap!

Heihachi: Hey! I'm not a cheap, old fart!

Lei: Yeah it's true I bust your ass everyday!

Lee: I'm not gay!

(The crew stares at Lee)

Lee: Oh wait I am!

Steve: HEY! Why the hell are we fighting when we can blame Ling. After all she is the one almost killed us all! Burned Lei severely and tried to destroy Paul completely!

Ling: HEHE! (Runs away)

Hoawarang: Let's tickle that girl to death!

(Jin, Steve and Hoawarang runs after Ling)

Kuma: Okay at least we were able to pay for the damages by selling Julia's research center! Let the 1st challenge begin!

Julia: What! Hey you can't do that! Don't you want a forest to live in Mr. Bear?

Kuma: Oh please make a forest in the middle of the desert! What a load of bullshit, a squirrel wouldn't even dare to live in your forest even if it was the freakin last forest in the world! So the rules are no sabotaging at night.

(At the garage of the Devils)

Paul: Sooooo? What do we do now, Heihachi?

Heihachi: We go out at night and sabotage their equipment!

Paul: What!

Kazuya: Of course this is the time we can get revenge for those shitheads! (Raises his fist in front of Paul)

Heihachi: All in favor! (Raises his hand)

Paul: Aye!

Kazuya: Me too!

Heihachi: Great now let's sleep! (Runs to the couch and lies down) And keep it down I'm trying to catch my beauty sleep!

(The crew leave the lodging house and to their respective garages. At the night before the race D Devils sneak on to the fence of their first victim.)

Heihachi: You know what to do boys. Paul's gonna hotwire the car and Kazuya… (Looks at Kazuya who is picking his nose) Listen here you idiot! (Throws a wrench on his head)

Kazuya: (gets hit on the head) Ah Crap!

Heihachi: Now concentrate! Intel says that Nina and Jun are shopping!

Paul: That means Lei is the only one in the house!

(Outside the garage of D BODIES)

Paul: Now, Kazuya, you know the plan! Got it? (Snaps at Kazuya's face)

Kazuya: Uh what plan? We never talk about any plan all you did was huddle with Heihachi and talk conspicuously.

Heihachi: Don't worry there's no sugar! Hehe! (Gives Kazuya a bottle of Pepsi max)

Kazuya: (Grabs the bottle and drinks it.) Hell yeah there is no sugar what is it?

Heihachi: It's….Water! (Kicks Kazuya's ass to the garage door)

Kazuya: (Flying towards the garage door of Lei) Damn you cheap ass father!

In the bedroom of Lei!

Lei: (Dreaming) Oh yes that new suit I ordered! It's all mine!

(Suddenly Lei hears Kazuya screaming)

Lei: (Wakes up.) What the hell! That came out side the garage my instinct tell me that I shouldn't mind it! But I'm Lei I check everything!

(Lei stands up from is bed and headed down the garage)

Meanwhile

(Kazuya is flying to the garage door of the bodies)

Paul: Nice kick!

Heihachi: Damn! The kick isn't strong enough (Snaps his fingers)

Paul: At least he did manage to pass the fence!

Kazuya: AHHHH!

(Lei suddenly open the garage door)

Lei: Kazuya? (Looks up and sees Kazuya flying towards him in top speed) CRAPPP!

(Kazuya slams into Lei's balls injuring him)

Kazuya: (Gets up) Hey guys were in!

Paul: Alright! (Does a hi-5 with Heihachi)

(Paul and Heihachi get in the garage and finds Lei on the floor unconscious.)

Heihachi: (Touching Lei's head) I believe we have the whole night. Get working my minions!

(Paul looks at the vehicle of the bodies)

Paul: Hmmm... A Harley with sidecar hmm this going to be easy. (Grabs a pencil and pokes the bike's gas tank.)

Kazuya: (Walks over to a box that has a label of super suit.) Well what to we have here! (Opens the box and takes out an advance suit for racing) Good thing I brought this with me. (Opens his bag and gets a suit and replaces it the advanced suit) HEHE!

Paul: Okay we're done here.

Heihachi: Not yet! Kazuya, help me carry him to his bed.

(Minutes later D Devils lay Lei's body on the bed)

Heihachi: Something is wrong hmm… I know. (Takes Lei's right hand and puts it inside his pants) Now that looks right.

Paul: Wait! (Brings out a bowl of hot water and lays Lei's left hand in it) Sweet dreams Lei.

(D devils walk away from the garage of the bodies)

Kazuya: What's next, Heihachi?

Heihachi: The fag team, then those stoner boys.

(D Devils head for the roof of the angels)

(On top of garage where a moon glass was situated.)

Heihachi: (Peering from the glass.) Okay Kazuya set my line up and Paul you're the anchor. Hey are you done tying me Kazuya. (Looks at Kazuya who is still tying him)

Kazuya: Done.

Paul: Ready here! (Waves his hands at Heihachi who is 6 meters away.)

Heihachi: Everyone okay!

Kazuya: Alright! (Runs pass Heihachi to the moon glass.)

Heihachi: Wait Kazuya!

(Kazuya runs and jumps in the moon glass. The rope tugs on Heihachi and pulls him in.)

Paul: Huh?

(The weight tugs in Paul. Paul is slowly tugs to a pole.)

Paul: (About to slam his future "balls" on a pole) CrAP! (Reaches for something)

Meanwhile while Heihachi and Kazuya are hanging Lee enters the garage!

Heihachi: (While hanging) If I waan…t to live. (Lee positions right under Kazuya) Hey Kazuya!

(Kazuya turns around)

Heihachi: I'm gonna have to cut you loose! (Takes out his Swiss knife)

Kazuya: Not if I can do it first! (Pulls out his own knife and cuts his rope.)

(Kazuya falls on Lee and pushes him onto the trunk)

Heihachi: Ye…

(Outside)

Paul: ESS! (Cuts the rope)

Heihachi: What the! (Falls onto the trunk locking it)

Kazuya: Crap! (Touches his butt)

Heihachi: Paul!

(From the roof)

Paul: Yeah?

Heihachi: Remind me to kill you!

Kazuya: We're done here let's ditch!

(D Devils run away and head for the Stoner" er "D Commandos N/a: Crappy I know)

(Outside D commandos' inn)

Heihachi: Alright this is wh…

Kazuya: Shut up old man, I'm sick and tired of your plans. This time we're listening to Paul! Go ahead Paul.

Paul: Okay let's go in and pop them Mofo's for good yo! Then let's take their food and bolt! (Takes out a .45 colt and starts waving it around.)

Kazuya: I was thinking of getting in and steal their clothes!

Heihachi: I say we go with Kazuya's plan.

Paul: Oh man! (Lowers and holsters his pistol)

(D devils get in the room and finds the team sleeping everywhere in the room and beer bottles scattered across the room.)

Paul: Okay quietly! We don't how much time these wasted bastards would wake up! (Walks 1 step across the room)

Kazuya: (Walks towards the TV) Hey there're watching the whole season of 24 without me! Damn!

(Kazuya stomps the ground hard. Suddenly the TV turns on and 1 of the scenes flash in the screen!)

(24 season 5)

These events happened in between 1:00 pm to 2:00pm in the bathroom of the CIA

Jack Bauer: It's quiet toooooooo…..oooo quiet! Ahhh! I smell ze stench of evil!

Anonymous 1: What the hell is that smell God! (Collapses)

Anonymous 2: We have a viral outbreak it's…It's uhh! (Dies)

Anonymous 3: God! Bauer stop drinking that!

Jack Bauer: Why isn't this chocolate milk!

Anonymous 3: That's … That's Lax… (Dies)

Jack Bauer: What the! Hey anyone there who has seconds to live! What the hell does this label say!

Anonymous 1: That's Laxative you f#g idiot. Uahhh! (Dies)

Jack Bauer: C'mon can't you take a little diarrhea!

(Back in the real world)

Heihachi: Turn that damn TV off!

Paul: Got it!

(Paul walks to the TV and Fires punch at it and sends it flying away)

Kazuya: Sorry! (Starts bowing)

Heihachi: Give me that shit! (Takes the remote from the floor and throws it at Steve's head)

(Suddenly the alarm rings)

Paul: Crap! Hide guys!

(The Devils ran to the kitchen and hid)

Steve: (Wakes up with the team) Yeah! OWWW! Man that hangover's harder than I thought. (Massages his head) Oh well time for our early morning snack!

Hwoarang: Where the hell is the TV!

(A few seconds ago before the devils punched the TV. Kuma was practicing his dating skills for Panda)

Kuma: You are the one for me! My heart beats every time you tal….(The TV falls on Kuma's Head) Rarr! (Kuma looks around to find out where the TV came from and spots D Commandos window broken.) Grra! (Runs to the house with a TV on his head)

(Back in the Lodging House)

Jin: (Opens the refrigerator.) What snack do you want guys?

Hwoarang: Anything.

Jin: Where the hell is the juice? (Reaches in the refrigerator)

(Kay get this Paul is in the refrigerator)

Paul: Uhhh? (Gives Jin the juice)

(Outside the refrigerator)

Hwoarang: Guys I didn't know we have an ugly nutcracker in our room! (Starts poking Heihachi)

(Jin comes in the room to check it out)

Jin: Hwoarang shove something in it.

Hwoarang: (Reaches for something.) This will do! (Shoves the chili into Heihachi's mouth and closed it)

(Suddenly the door bell rings)

Jin: Hey Steve! Get the door!

Steve: (Wasted while holding a bear bottle.) Got it! (Walks up to the door and opens it) Hey guys! I found the TV and it's on the nature channel about a bear!

Kuma: RARR! (Grabs Steve and flings him across the room)

(Jin and Hwoarang comes out)

Jin: Hey! It is the nature channel!

(Kuma grabs Jin and smashes him into Hwoarang and leaves)

Paul: (Opens the door and falls to the ground) Crap!

Heihachi: HOTT! (Runs to the Kitchen sink and spits out the chili)

Paul: Where's KaZZ!

(Kazuya comes out of the garage.)

Kazuya: I'm done with their car!

Paul: Really! What did you do?

Kazuya: I switched some of their wires!

(The devils leave the garage for the 1st challenge)


End file.
